On Day 12, which was on July 17, 2026. I had a complete and total meltdown. I was practicing the combo upstroke and downstroke (Day 1) exercise. It’s the foundation that makes all the other strokes. I was having the hardest time transitioning from starting off light then go into a heavy down stroke and end in a light stroke. I watched Becca’s video on this one stroke (I stopped counting after the 10th time). They still kept coming out looking like deformed, baby cobras. I was trying to do it free hand and not using the tracing exercise sheet.
I got so frustrated, I ripped up the tracing paper, the blank practice paper and jammed straight down the tip of the pen into the paper and the tip broke off. My anger, disappointment and yes, frustration got the best of me. I started crying. I was so emotional. I was ready to give up.
Why wasn’t I getting it? Why wasn’t I making any progress? What am I doing wrong? Did I make a mistake trying to learn calligraphy? Maybe it’s too difficult to learn? Because the crazy part is today, Day 12, the Compound Stroke, the hardest basic stroke out of all them, I was getting it. I was able to do the stroke without tracing. So why in the world am I having a hard time getting this one stroke down?
I was ready to toss all my calligraphy supplies in the trash but I stopped myself and stepped away from my desk. I looked down at the carnage of my practice pens (I broke 2 of them) and torn paper and just started breathing slowly. Inhaling and exhaling deeply to calm down and get a hold of my emotions.
I said to myself, “Felecia, you are on day 12 of learning calligraphy. This is the first time in your life holding a calligraphy pen and practicing calligraphy strokes. Wipe your tears and let go of the high expectations you have for yourself. Give yourself some grace.”
Something told me I have to write this. I have to share this. I’m a bit embarrassed and mortified at what I did but it’s part of learning. This is part of my calligraphy journey. After crying, giving myself and little pep talk. I could blame it blame what happened on menopause because I’m going through it but that too easy. The TRUTH is I had unrealistic, high expectations of myself as a novice calligrapher, there was no way I could reach this early on (literally 12 days in) which led to that moment. I got frustrated and let my emotions get the best of me. I had high expectations for myself.
I can say that writing this blog post has really helped put things into perspective. I don’t have anger issues. I was overwhelmed and I should have stopped sooner but didn’t. Instead, I kept pushing through determined to get one stroke right. Now, I know the signs, I will be more aware and do better in the future.
If you are reading this and you are struggling with your own calligraphy journey, I want you to know something: it’s okay to get frustrated. It’s okay to have a bad practice session. It’s okay if your strokes don’t look the way you imagined they would.
Learning something new is not supposed to be perfect from the beginning. When frustration starts taking over, step away for a moment. Take a breath. Come back when you’re ready. Your progress is not measured by one difficult practice session or one stubborn stroke. Starting from absolute zero doesn’t mean you’re behind — it means you’re brave enough to begin. Every shaky stroke, every mistake, and every frustrating moment is building the artist you’re becoming.
